Archive for May 2011

What are FRIENDS for?   1 comment

During your childhood, you’ve been exposed to friendships. From the kindergarten, where you’ve been taught to be caring to one another, to play together and to discover new things together. As you grow up, you meet new kind of friends, and you are taught to ‘choose your friends’. Then, you’ll meet somebody that you think could probably your best friend. He/She has good background, good characteristics, and good manners. both of you play together, study together… the same thing.

Then comes your adolescence. You are very prone to change, and you are very sensitive of whatever happened around you. People around you will influence your thinking, and at the same time, you do influence others. It will be a big turning point in your life, when you’re no longer depend on your parents on emotional and social support. Then, your friends will be the ones who cares about you, feel empathic towards you… and the ones who make you feel happy and cheerful every day.

Well, is it important for us to ‘choose’ our friends?

Well, I will say NO.

I saw those teenagers everywhere. They don’t smoke, they don’t drink liquors, and I’m very sure that they abstain from premarital sex. Some short-minded teens said that those three bad things are cool, but not most of their friends.

And, I am a teenager.

Wherever I go, I will meet different people, and they have different characteristics, manners and attitude. I’ve met a lot of children, teens and adults. But then, I saw a similarity in them. They are just the same. We are different in some cases, but we are actually SAME.

So, what are friends for?

When I was in Form 3, I am thinking about having a best friend- a friend that will help me whenever I’m down and the one that will help me to be better than who I was then. I searched a lot about friendship. I searched them, I printed them, I read them and I tried to understand them. I tried to practice them and well, they don’t really works.

My SM Sains Miri schoolmates, 2009

…and I wait… until now. I met a lot of person in my life- smokers, drug addicts, illegal racers, bloggers, orphans, badminton players, soccer teams, talkative teens, lazy boys, mean girls, bullies, and very little pious and good boys, and so caring and understanding teenage girls. I analyse them all. I befriend them all. I listen to all of them, and I’ve found that they do have a similarity- they have their own story to tell. They have reasons to become smokers. They have their own reasons to become drug addicts. They have their own reasons for them to listen in empathy. And yet, I have my own reason to tell you why am I writing.

It is worth waiting when I’ve found my first love when I was in National Service. Her name? Read EVERYTHING IS A REASON part 2.3. Every teen have his/her own first love story, and now I’ll telling mine. She is a good and intelligent Malay girl. I met her for the first time in the CB class, and we’re in the same group. I was attracted to her. Since then, I contacted her almost every day in the camp. I never expected that she is my first love. I NEVER expected it.

After National Service, I continuously contacted her. We phoned sometimes. Suddenly, my mum knew about our relationship. My mum scolded me badly. Then, the application for the PSA scholarship is opened. I applied, but my mum forced me to apply for sponsorship to local private universities. I regretted so much the moment. Until now, I blamed my mum for making me regret such chance.

And the same goes to her, but I regretted for the second time. She got the scholarship. From then, I cried almost every night. I could not tell anyone. I was speechless. My main concern since then is attempting to commit SUICIDE. The burden was unbearable. The suffering continues… until I entered matriculation. I managed to gain back my spirit in a couple of weeks. I competed in the college election, and I won. I was the Academic Exco of the Student Representatives.

My deputy Academic Exco was an intelligent  Chinese girl named Woon Hui. She is 43 days younger than me, and she is one of the top achievers in the college.

Sunday, 27 June 2010 was my darkest day in my life. It was the moment my heart breaks into pieces and I felt really down then. She broke up with her boyfriend and she decides not to talk to me since. Well, me… I feel really sorry to her if I was the reason for the crush. I was attending a camp in Kota Klias, Sabah that very day. In the bus when I went back to the college, I cried a lot. The first person I told about the incident was, you know it, Woon Hui. She is the one who comforted me then. Since then, almost every day, I cried and I cried and I cried.

I didn’t know what actually happened to me. I can’t stop crying since the day. Maybe I was depressed.

I went to the counselor, but still, the feeling is not relieved that much. I look for Woon Hui. I told her all my problems and I cried. I think that’s the moment our friendship become stronger. I shared a lot to her, and she told me hers.

Maybe God wanted to give what I asked for 4 years. I think that she is the best friend I ever met in my life. Then, I learned something. Sometimes, we can’t feel that God is making our dreams true, but sometimes, we feel sad for meeting somebody we love for such a long period of time, and we are going to separate to our own ways; and then, we realise that God loves us very much.

I respected her for being that hardworking and intelligent. She is quite active in some activities, but finally I realised that nobody is actually perfect.

She has a loving family. She has a very loving and caring father. Since she was small, she was nurtured with care together with her two siblings. Her father was once resigned from work because of some family reasons. I wonder how responsible her father is to his family. She shared a lot to me. I just had 6 hours to talk to her and to share everything to her. Then, I feel relieved. A lot.

I don’t know how grateful I am to have such a good friend. do you know what Woon Hui said to me?

“I think you’re beautiful. Without you, the world will lose a loving father, a loyal husband and a good friend.”

Now I know what friends are for.

TO BE CONTINUED

Posted May 19, 2011 by princerighty1 in EVERYTHING IS A REASON